Tag: writing

I Should Have Made Your T-Chart For You, Kids

The author reflects on their dismissal from a teaching position, expressing frustration over their teaching methods being deemed ineffective despite efforts to support students with disabilities. They criticize the school’s focus on standardized test scores for funding instead of valuing personalized instruction, feeling their removal undermines student stability and growth.

March 23, 2026

You have a heart for kids. There’s a place for you in education. You’re so positive.

That’s what they said to me during my firing. And also that they knew I tried my best, that I was trying to learn and improve, blah blah blah. I did not get renewal and I was also dismissed the same day. They said they knew I wasn’t harming them. But the way they let me go sure made me feel like I had been. 

My instruction is ineffective because I make the kids start their assignments from scratch even though they have learning disabilities and attention or hyperactivity issues. Even though I provide them with nonfiction summary graphic organizers for the organization of their ideas. Even though I provide them with slides upon slides of notes that they need. So all they have to do is copy them down. And I’ll highlight the most important texts for those that take too long to handwrite or decide which details are key. Even though they do “notice and wonders” and use sentence builders. Even though I provide videos and replay them. Even though they get to draw their ideas and work together to make visual models. Even though I send home copies of notes upon request. Even though they get opportunities to, and do, discuss with each other the content we’re learning together. Were learning together. Not anymore. But admin comes in a few times a year, almost sporadically, and then decides they haven’t seen enough. Even though they actually were learning and growing.

The problem now with them is that the students in the special education classroom are not testing high enough on the state tests. The kids don’t test high enough on those tests, then the school doesn’t get funding. The school lost ranking from years prior, from instructors and children prior to my arrival. But I’m brand new to the field. So, I have to go. Even though I don’t even teach the children the subjects in which they test poorly. 

Firing me two months before the school year ends is what’s best for the disabled kids. Not letting me say goodbye is best for them. Removing their adult representation of who they are and what they struggle with, what they can achieve, is what’s best for the kids. Removing stability is what’s best for the kids. Having them grieve at a random point of the year is what’s best for the kids. All because I didn’t print them a ready-made T-chart so they could put their notices and wonders in. All because I gave them more content. 

I should have cut their workload in half. That was going to be how they scored higher on their state exams so we could keep our funding. But I didn’t do that. I made them make their “T’s” from scratch. My bad, kids.

On Being an Educator, Post-COVID

The educator expresses the complexities of teaching adolescents, especially post-COVID, feeling both love and frustration towards her students. As a disabled Latina educator, she questions her place within a flawed system and grapples with the decision to leave her role, fearing her absence may deprive her students of needed representation and support.

How would I describe being an educator for adolescents and preteens? Near impossible, soul-sucking, liberating, and sickeningly sweet. Especially with it being post-covid and I love my nonbiological kids (the scholars) so much. I would die for any student in my class, literally.  But it’s so hard to teach. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Teachers are nurturers. And as nurturers, they are overworked and underrewarded. 

You get so invested trying to ensure your littles become kind, happy, well-rounded adults. It’s so hard to not feel like mistakes are personal failures. Like you’re a failure. You can, at times, take things personally. 

But at the same time, I have questions about the whole system. And if I were to ask them aloud, I wonder if people would accuse me of skirting personal responsibility? 

Can I, a disabled woman, really succeed in a field that was built for white able-bodied Americans? I mean, the system was built with the idea it can maintain white supremacy. And I’m a disabled Latina immigrant educator. Not that I’m saying me being Latina gets in the way of anything, though. 

Anyway, as the summer approaches and my third year in education comes to an end, it’s looking highly likely that I’ll be stepping away. It’s a bittersweet, terrifying, and exciting departure from what I had previously envisioned for myself. I feel bad for the kids though. Did I mention my students are also disabled? I feel like by having to step away, I’m failing them. I’m them from the future. Representation matters. If I can’t do it, can they? And of course I know they can, but they need someone around who knows that and stands in that truth. What does that mean if I can’t represent them anymore?